Disclaimer:
I acquired the person's consent before publishing the emails that were exchanged. I censored out his/her name and personal information with "XXXX" for safety reasons and to retain anonymity.
Tilus to XXXXX
Apr 21, 2011
Hi XXXXX,
I was just curious to gain a little bit more information about your relationship with your succubus and Lilith in general.
I have encountered Lilith herself and her daughters but I am sorta stuck in a rut and am looking for some guidance with someone that might be willing to share information. Please drop me an email if you could be so kind.
Thanks,
Tilus
XXXXX to me
Apr 23, 2011
hi tilus,
what info are you seeking? my succubus wife the daughter of lilith tells me there was a 'problem' when you encountered her mother.
Tilus to XXXXX
Apr 24, 2011
I've wrote a lot in forums and emails about my encounters with Lilith and her daughters. If your really interested I can share everything, but I warn you it is a very long read. (might take you anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour or two to go through all the things I have written)
Short Summary:
1st Month
I encountered a succubus named Alexandra (public name, not private) about half a year ago. I had never been in a serious relationship and was still a virgin when this happened. We had explosive sex for the first couple of days that left me completely tired and worn out. Afterwords, things went really smooth. I started doing research on the topic, I was really enjoying my relationship with Alex. Then I started to get more 'curious' and started testing limitations. I tried to make a recording of her on EVP. Apparently that wasn't such a good thing to do. I caught a heated argument between Alex and an incubus. Alex kept saying things like, "Uhhhh, he kept asking!" and then the incubus would respond in some weird tongue (angelic?) and scold her. I could also hear large amounts of screaming, almost as if Alex was being tortured/punished because of me. That night, the incubus joined us in bed. It was a shocking and deeply uncomfortable moment. I couldn't get him to go away, and Alex didn't seem like she minded. So I gave in. The next day he was gone, and me and Alex resumed our normal sexual relationship.
2nd Month
I started coming across occult/magick information regarding succubus and incubus. The incubus seldom joined us in bed and Alex and I were starting to rev up some of my spiritual experiences. I started to feel my third eye opening and started to feel things like chakra and energy inside my body. I found some good genuine accounts of people encountering succubus and incubus on the web. I also came across a lot of Lilith information.
3rd Month
This is when things started to go downhill. I encountered a very sexually arousing text of a grimoir talking about Lilith. After reading it, I started to lust after her. During that night, I woke up in the middle of sleep, to both the incubus and Alex beside me chanting something and then I felt a presence know as Lilith appear. Alex and the incubus disappeared, then for the next three days I had the most rawest, addicting, and excruciating nearly continuous sex with Lilith. The end result was that I felt like it was becoming dangerous to my health. This did not happen when I first encountered Alexandra. The sex was good, but she let me sleep and eat food. When I first encountered Lilith, I got around 8 hours of sleep in that 72-84 hour period. I felt motivated to eat very little and had to force myself to eat. (I had like, two bowls of ramen, and one bowl of oatmeal in that period) The food made me feel disgusted, not in the sense that it tasted horrible, but in the way that you would feel like eating when you are full. I had an overwhelming urge to avoid eating, even though I knew I was practically starving my body. I 'forced' myself to eat spoonful after spoonful because I knew my body needed it even though my overwhelming urge was to not eat anything. Towards the end, I could not sleep or eat, and was starting to panic and freak out realizing that I would eventually die if things continued. (seriously, not joking) I then started to feel a large amount of fear because I could not stop having the addicting sex with Lilith. Lilith responded to that fear with excitement. I could tell she was immensely enjoying my fear and panic and started to rev up the intensity of the pleasure. I then took a drastic action and forced myself to ejaculate to give me a moment of clarity. I then resorted to the methods suggested by some people on forums to get rid of her. I don't want to go into tremendous detail but the next couple of hours felt like it was a vicious battle over my willpower. I prayed and kept praying asking for some help. Then after resisting her sexual advances for the rest of the night, I was assisted by what felt like angels. They were able to get rid of her presence, completely. At the time I asked for a talisman to be blessed, and it was. I got sleep, ate food, rested, etc. After a couple of days, I started to recall how good the pleasure felt, and then secretly lusted for Lilith back again. Just like she heard my thoughts, she reappeared. The sex was not the same intensity as before, it felt like there was a safeguard in place.
4th Month
I became frustrated with the things that happened. I felt like I had betrayed Alexandra, then I tried to talk to Lilith about it. I did insult her, but it wasn't with malicious intent. I could feel her fury, for a few seconds after I called her "a fool" for claiming to know the secret desires of that exist in my heart and which ones I would act upon. I got a little reckless, I wanted to show her I was serious. As a sign of trust for Lilith, I took off the talisman that I had being wearing every since the encounter that I felt was inhibiting Lilith's ability to sex me up to a large amount of intensity. I told her I wanted Alexandra back, and I didn't have any interest in 'Lilith' herself anymore. She granted my request. I immediately felt Alex's presence in the room. I then was overjoyed to be with her again. I got to spend an entire day reuniting myself with her. Then that night, something felt off. I could feel Alex get nervous and she for some reason stopped having sex with me. Then while lying in bed wondering what happened, I felt Lilith's presence near me. Then I was struck with some kind of telepathic realization that I was now going to be tested for my commitment to Alexandra and see if it was 'pure'. I managed to resist her seductions for hours, but in the end, I finally gave in.
5th Month
While being with Lilith she lead me to all sorts of occult/magick information about her. I learned a lot about sex magick, her background and just things in general. I got pissed at Lilith because of all the online forums saying that people had really negative experiences with her. I was mad because it seemed like she tried to destroy her former lovers. There were some really cruel and malicious things people said she did to them. That caused me to attempt to get rid of her again. In one of the books I had read, a sign of devotion for her was to burn a Hebrew bible. It was also stated that she loves roses. So I decided to do the opposite, and was going to attempt to burn a dozen roses as a sign of rebellion. My plan was to burn a rose a day for every day I resisted her attempts at seduction and then at the end do a ritual for a separation/divorce of union to remove her from my presence. I didn't do this because I feared her. I did it because I didn't think her intentions were benevolent. What ended up happening, after the first night I resisted her seductions I had the most surreal dream. There was a very attractive red-haired woman. She was gorgeous, but I feel that she had been alive for a long time. I was lying with her on this bed that was located in a room that was fit for a queen/princess. She was talking to me, telling me some stuff that seemed pretty heartfelt. It felt like she was very lonely and didn't want me to leave. (that's the jist of the convo) Then a few seconds before I woke up, I could feel her immense sadness/loneliness at not wanting me to proceed with my intentions. I am certain this was Lilith, and to save you some reading, I didn't fully go through with the intended ritual. Later in the month, I wanted to make a loose request. I wanted to be with Lilith and Alexandra but spend time with each of them separately. So I asked to spend alternate days with them alone. Prior to this, I know I hadn't/wasn't with Alexandra at all. I then felt alternate presences of them both during those days.
6th-7th Month
I gave up on the former request because I felt confused, unsure, and lost. I didn't know what I wanted, if my intentions were right, or even if I made a decision if I could stick with it. Since the Lilith seduced me saga during the 4th month when I was trying to be pure with my intentions towards Alex she has given some kind of mandate against me. None of her daughters have had sexual intercourse with me because I think Lilith forbids it. I have noticed that I have been visited by different daughters of her because of their personalities when they interact with me. I'm not sure if Alex still visits me or not, currently.
Currently
I know you may be reading this and see the heavy theme of lust regarding myself. I know that's true. The whole experience was new to me and I was exploring avenues. I felt like I couldn't fully trust Lilith or her daughters because they had full access to my thoughts, motives, everything, while I had little information (that mostly was negative) regarding them. The biggest problem I had was with some of the extremities that Lilith had done to people on forums. I could not understand in my heart or mind, why she just wouldn't leave the person instead of causing significant harm to the person. The intentions of succubus/incubus/Lilith was a mystery to me. Were people merely cattle that they preyed on, or did they truly love them? I sincerely hoped the latter, but I wasn't ready to attempt to trust them. My interactions with Lilith and her kin have shown me that lust by itself is not good. Lilith had a very mischievous and humorous way of showing me this. One example, she spent roughly an hour caressing me down there until I was all relaxed on the bed, nice and comfy. I was fully erect and lusting for her to give me oral... She violently gnashed her teeth on the tip of my penis. I jumped up out of the bed, in pain. Lol.
I learned some truth about love, just these past few days. In your hub, a man posted a link to a guy who kept a diary about his encounters with his succubus wife. After reading it, I realized I was searching for that love, and wanted it, but felt like I couldn't obtain. It made me depressed. His love for his succubus seemed so pure and innocent that he truly obtained a quality of love unimaginable that was so mythological spoken about in books and in poems. He had complete trust in his succubus, and loved her dearly. I then, knew. If I wanted the same type of love, I was going to have to trust and love unconditionally. That's just what I did a few nights ago. Saying the words alone, has no meaning. I felt that in my heart. I said I didn't care for the intentions, I was going to love them regardless, and...trust them fully. At this time I felt like one succubus had been around me for the past week(s). I then felt a strong feeling of warmth and tenderness being emitted from her to me and I returned it as well. What has occurred these past few nights is something that words won't do justice in describing. I learned that with love, lust is healthy to have but it should not be the primary focus. It's like the background music to a song, while love is the main singer and lyrics. And if I were to define love in one sentence as best as I could, "love is tenderness and caring." which the succubus I have interacted with the past few days has shown me. Also, love is like a rose. It takes time before it blossoms, but during that time you attend to it with caring and tenderness so that it reaches it's blossom stage. Right now I'm being taught this and am learning willingly and happily. I understand that Lilith is like a momma bear and she get's grizly when shit goes down and tries to defend her cubs. (haha) I have the uttermost respect for her because some of the things she has done to me that I couldn't figure out the reasons for, but then it becomes clear later.
That's pretty much everything wrapped in a bun.
Something that does baffle me though, are there multiple Lilith's or is that Lilith the same one? I know there is a older Lilith from the one in my dream that I mentioned. I also encountered a younger one, who acted like a child. There is also Lilith the bride of Samuel. You said that there are some good and bad succubus, and yet all of them are the daughters of Lilith? How does all of that work? Right now, I'm not sure what to think about monogamy. It has nothing to do with lust. Just free love. I'm not even sure if I am seeing the same succubus every night, regardless that doesn't stop me from showering the potential new visitor in unconditional love and trust and the feeling is returned. I reemphasize again, the lust aspect is not the goal. Also for my future, I do want to have kids and a family. I feel like I will be able to share this love with a potential human spouse one day. I'm not sure how it's going to work out. The succubus (or succubi) that have been around me when I have had thoughts about this haven't reacted negatively to it. I still lack a direct line of communication but I feel as if it's getting better. Overall my experiences have been great for learning and I hope that any potential succubus partners I have come across have enjoyed my company. Kudos to Lilith for being patient with me. :3
Any additional information that you think might be useful regarding my situation, please share.
I would appreciate it and thanks for reading,
Tilus
XXXXX to me
Apr 26, 2011
hi tilus,
I don't know what to say. but nice journal. I've been with mine over a year. but she tells me she has been with me since I was a teenager. encounters with Lilith for me has been limited. when she comes. I tell her I love my succubus her daughter. she I sense is happy with that. so she leaves me. my succubus and I have entered a very tense level in our relationship. yes there are many Liliths. the one that has been with me I sense means me no harm. hasn't maded any demands in destroying a bible. ( I read a jewish one myself as well as the quran.). as of yet. most of the info on Liliths I learned is on one of my hubpages XXXXXX however what I learhed I briefly summarized:
there is a lilith that is also the first eve. she is lilith zahriel wife of adam qadmon. the heavenly man.
the other lilith is the first wife of adam in genesis chapters 1 and 2. although kabbalists say the first chapther applys to adam qadmon as well. this lilith is the sister of eve.
the third lilith is the female aspect of one of the satans name samael. she was the one who used the serpent to get to eve. and caused lilith of the second adam to leave him. and sleep with many demons. but later left them when he seduced eve as the serpent,.
there is division between the sons and daughters of lilith same good some evil.
Tilus to XXXXX
Apr 26, 2011
Do you know which Lilith your succubus mother claims to be? Also, did she mention what exactly the 'problem' was when I encountered her mother? Many things come to thought when I think about it, but nothing sticks out.
Anyway, thanks for the response.
~Tilus~
XXXXX to me
Apr 27, 2011
mine comes from the first wife of Adam. not the heavenly or cosmic one. hate to say this. but the 'problem' she refered to was that the Lilith that visit you was actually an avatar of Lilith. Lilith doesn't always come. she only comes once or twice. but never always. mine is an avatar herself. uses the name Lilith as a sirname.
Tilus to XXXXX
Apr 27, 2011
What do you mean by avatar?
XXXXX to me
Apr 27, 2011
all daughters of Lilith are avatars. however a few become a specialized avatars of Lilith. they carry Lilith's name as a sirname.
Tilus to XXXXX
May 8, 2011
Now you have me a bit baffled. So it works like this,
There is a main/real/true Lilith. There are spirits created from her who are her daughters. There are a special few of her daughters that are basically reincarnated as her? So does all interaction with her daughters reflect a larger relationship with Lilith herself? (as the main one)
Have you experimented with Kundalini in interactions with your succubus? I find that my internal energy flow is being trained by the succubi I have been with. Also, I am curious to know if they seem to get anything out of their interactions with people that maybe we aren't aware of. If you think about it, being around humans for thousands of years might become a bit of a bore in terms of interactions.
Let me know,
Tilus
XXXXX to me
May 9, 2011
you got it. but here's the hard part to understand. each succubus is an individal. who has their own feelings. and passions. although they serve as Lilith's avatars her representatives. they are their own persons. and yes mine has experiement with kundalini. but she does most of the work.
Tilus to XXXXX
May 20, 2011
Hi again XXXXX,
I noticed your hub is gone. Did you take it down personally or did the admins make you take it down because it was considered obscene?
Also, I am curious to know if Kundalini can be used for healing. I'm going to assume it get's stronger the longer you go without ejaculation? And did Lilith ever say what her goal/purpose was?
Thanks!
Tilus
XXXXX to me
May 20, 2011
hi tilus,
yes there was a lot of pressure from both the hubpages and a few crackpots that kept leaving posts on my pages. in the end I decided to take them down. I'm in the process of making a blog on the subject of the paranormal on blogspot.com under the name of XXXXX. I'll let you know when it is up. my succubus has used kundalini for healing. queen Lilith never told me her goals. but I sense it is not the corruption of mortals. the impression I got from her was restoration to her original position as wife of adam; sister of eve; to be venerated as a 'goddess' I.e. daughter of god/goddess and our co ancestor. and to join the other children of adam together with us in peace and love.
Tilus to XXXXX
May 23, 2011
I'm sorry to hear that XXXXX. :( I would love to subscribe to your blog when you have it setup. If I'm not mistaken didn't you copy all your posts from hubpages? Why can't you just c/p them onto blogspot? Also I am very interested in your pictures. You have a few different forms of Lilith drawn. I noticed the eye colors were different as well as the clothes and theme. What was your inspiration for drawing the different tones and themes for them? The one that had the most interest to me was when Lilith had a curved sword and armor. Reminded me of a badass description from Liber Lilith where she is known as "Lilith the Destroyer".
Also you said the Zohar Volume 5 has a few references to Lilith and her daughters, yet I am having a tough time finding an online source that will let me read it for free. Did you buy it or did you have a nearby library that provided it? Are the references large, and if not would you be able to quote a few? If you can't or don't feel like it, I won't be offended.
Also with your permission I would like to publish our email exchanges to my blog. Of course I would censor all personal information, such as names, etc. I feel like I have scattered a lot of my resources into many different people and forums and I want to gather them all into one place, which I think would be an ideal area for a blog.
Let me know,
Tilus
XXXXX to me
May 23, 2011
hi tilus,
I got the zohar volume 5 the pritzker edition off of amazon around $35.00. I have clip the copies unto my blog. the address is XXXXX, or if that doesn't work. try XXXXX. the lilith art was inspired by my succubus as well as lilith herself. yes lilith does visit her daughters' lovers and husbands. because in truth we become lilith's lovers through her daughters. because being in the image of adam. she gets to connect to adam. about the lilith figure with the curve swords. that was my succubus' inspiration.. yes you have my permission to post our email exchanges. but be careful. there are those who might find if offense. and not necessarily the graphic sex stuff.
XXXXX
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