Email Series III - (Incubus Encounter & Black Magic) [From RRR]

Disclaimer:

I acquired the person's consent before publishing the emails that were exchanged.  I censored out his/her name and personal information with "RRR" for safety reasons and to retain anonymity.  

Notice - I censored out different parts with XXX, XXXX, etc. that belonged to names, websites, and other personal information.  

Tilus to RRR
Feb 7, 2011
   
Hi RRR,
I currently am involved with a succubus and I saw your post on the XXXX site.  I am curious to know whether you are still with your incubus and how things are going?

(also I'm testing this email to see if it works, if it does and I get a response from you I will share more of my own story)

Thanks,
Tilus 

RRR to me
Feb 8, 2011

Hi. thanks for writing.

Yes, I'm still involved with my incubus. I've gotten used to it and even look forward to the company at night. Somehow I was "traded" to another incubus from my original one who was very intense. This one is more calmer.

Do you have dreams that help you to see what she looks like?

I seem to be involved in a "group" in my dreams that I see each night

Thanks for sharing,
RRR

Tilus to RRR   
Feb 8, 2011
   
This is a good location to talk about anything related to succubus/incubus.  Lots of the people on this forum have a succubus/incubus partner and are in a relationship.

XXXXX

I will warn you though, the owner and mod team on that forum try to keep it non-religious.  (The forum owner and staff are mostly atheist)  Secondly, they do a small bit of censorship.  I recently got in trouble for questioning a decision from the staff to censor a person who was describing something malicious that happened with his succubus.  They try to keep the forum board a pro-relationship environment to encourage people to not fear their succubus/incubus and to enter a beneficial relationship with their spirit partner.

Ah, I see.  I understand completely.  I initially encountered a succubus named Alexandra (public name not private) about four months ago.  I tried to record her on an EVP and I could hear her arguing with a male voice.  She said things like, "He kept ASKING!"  etc. etc.  while the voice scolded her on the EVP.  I think she was referring to me, and from the things I have read on the forum, they don't like to be recorded via video/camera/etc.  Then on that same night I recorded the EVP, I felt an incubus in my bed with Alexandra, that I believe to be the one from the EVP scolding her.  His presence felt more heavy, and thicker than she did.  I'm purely heterosexual person and have had no gay thoughts for men.  But the incubus kept trying to penetrate me while Alexandra rode me.  I was really freaked out.  He kept persisting and near the moment of orgasm with Alexandra on top of me, my legs relaxed as they both had their pleasure with me.  After that incident the incubus disappeared. 

About a month later I tried to do some further research on the succubus/incubus subject and a name that kept appearing was Lilith.  I started to read more and more about her and then I started to lust after her.  That night, I woke up in the middle of the dream groggy and I could hear chanting beside my bed as the incubus and Alexandra were beside me saying something.  I then felt a presence known as Lilith come to me, and then Alexandra and the incubus disappeared.  I went on a wild sex frenzy with Lilith for three days, where I hardly ate or slept.  I thought she was trying to kill me.  I had to resort to some drastic methods to get things under control.  About two weeks later I felt guilty that I had betrayed Alexandra for Lilith, and plead with Lilith to let me have her back.  For the next two days I was with Alexandra, and then suddenly she stopped having sex with me.  I was a bit surprised and then later that night I felt Lilith coming back into my bed to seduce me.  I tried to resist as best I could but I succumbed in my dream as I felt a multitude of hands caressing me in my groin area.  I woke up from my dream and gave in to the pleasure.  One other dream I had with Lilith when I was really pissed at her and attempting to get rid of her, I was inside her bed chamber.  It was like a princess bed chamber that you see on the movies, the bed was huge and finely decorated.  I was laying in the bed with her as she told me she didn't want me to go and leave her.  The next day I felt bad, and ceased in my attempts to remove her from my life.     
 
About a week ago I tried to do something special for Lilith I took some candles and put them around my bed, burned some incense, etc.  I then felt another succubus (who I'm not sure if it was Alexandra or not, although I hope it was).

So yea, that's my overall experience with multiply succubus/incubus.  They each have their own energy signatures though.  In a way it's like this the feeling of static electricity on the skin is different. Ex.
This is just an analogy,

Lilith = Honey on the skin
Incubus = Peanut butter on the skin
Alexandra = Jelly on the skin
etc.
  
In no way do they actually feel like those substances, but I was just trying to explain the thickness, thinness, strength of there energy in comparission.
 
Also my forum name is tilus.
 
Hope this all helps,
Tilus

RRR to me
Feb 9, 2011

hI!

Thank you so much for hooking me up to the site! I am happy I finally have somewhere I can talk about it! It has been a secret for a long time.

Thanks for telling me your story. I understand the feeling differences too. I like how I am getting the kind of "dominate" sex I like.  I miss it if I don't feel anything.

I don't know if it is famiiar to you, but I was first introduced to "two dogs" in my dream, who then became my sex spirit partners in real life.  It has happened a few times.

I will visit the site you gave. Thanks again! RRR

Tilus to RRR
Feb 12, 2011
   
Hi, I haven't seen or heard from you in a few days.  I noticed on that forum that a person had signed up but the post didn't appear in the introduction area.  Was that you by any chance? 

RRR to me
Feb 12, 2011
   
Hi!

I am so irritated with XXX.  I don't believe their site is user friendly and I deal with computers a lot!
First I had trouble registering with them. The "Human" section had no pretyped letters/numbers to type so I had to email them and ask them to register me.

Then I wanted to change my picture and clicked on every link avaiable that I could see, but didn't find what I needed.

Then I tried to get back on the "spirit sex" area, and now it says I am not authorized!
Can you believe this??

I again left a message for XXX asking them what is going on since the whole reason I joined is to be on the XXXXX forum.

Still waiting,
thanks for asking.
RRR

Tilus to RRR   
Feb 12, 2011
   
Lol.  I had the same problem when registering.  The picture upload is bizarre.  I'm not sure why it is so difficult.  I hope you get things sorted out correctly, and hope to hear from you in the future.
Oh and I did see the post by the person as RRR under the public area and I figured that was you.  But when I clicked on it, your post did not appear. When I clicked on your profile it showed up as being posted under the introduce yourself area as XXX.

RRR to me
Feb 12, 2011
   
Ironically, XXX just replied and they said I was denied. I have to ask admin why but they didn't give me the link to contact admin. Oh great! How hard will that be??

I guess my "XXX" story is too racy - for even this discussion group???
 
I'll try to make it more appropriate.
RRR

Tilus to RRR
Feb 12, 2011
   
What?  I have never heard about a story being denied for being to descriptive or vulgar...?  Send a PM to XXXXX and tell him what happened.  He might be able to fix/solve the problem. 

Tilus to RRR
Feb 15, 2011
   
Did you ever contact XXXXX the forum owner?

RRR to me
Feb 16, 2011
   
HI.
Yes, I left messages for the two admins requesting to rewrite my story so it is appropriate, but no one has wrote me back. They don't seem to want me involved and I'm not allowed to even view the site now.

Do you know of any other sites?
 
How long has your relationship been?
Thanks for asking, RRR

Tilus to RRR   
Feb 17, 2011
   
Hey I contacted the forum admin and he mentioned that the reason your story got removed was because it was in the public section where anyone can view it.  His reasoning for removing it was because he wanted to keep the forum to serious discussion and not attract the role-play type of people that like to masturbate to material involving succubus/incubus.  His response is listed below,

"XXX: She never contacted me. Her intro read like bad porn, and I denied her access based on the fact that we've already had more than one member try to use the forum for wank-release and it's detrimental to everyone involved.
I have given her access to the public forum. Tell her to repost an intro, and that she needs to tone it down a tad. All we want is age/gender/reason to join the forum. We don't need the kind of material she posted in the public forum."

XXX

RRR to me
Feb 17, 2011
   
Thanks for checking into that for me.

My issue is a little different than the "relationships" people are having with their spirit partners.
My experience may have begun from an X roommate who was into black magic and sent to me two very strong incubus.  One incubus said he "owned" me and they trained me a "SEX DOLL". (It means that I am completely submissive, quiet and unmoving unless told or moved by my "masters", & follow directions immediately and without emotion or any hint of resistance or interference or bad attitude. "Duty to Serve" is my job.

 I became emotionally close to one of the inucbus, but the main incubus eventually said he was just my "trainer" and "sold" me at what seemed like an auction. They say I have a "contract for sex". I have been traded by different incubus' ever since to those spirits who want me to serve them in the way I was trained. I have not been close to any "master" since my first "friend".

I'm not sure this story would qualify for the site. I'm checking into this "contract for sex" thing and wondering if I can "break the spell" or something.
RRR

Tilus to RRR
Feb 18, 2011
   
That's interesting.  Some questions I am curious about,
 
Questions about your roommate:
 
Was your roommate male or female?  How long had he/she been practicing black magic?  How do you know it was in fact black magic?  How do you know your roommate sent you the two incubus?
 
Questions regarding your incubus:
 
Have they taught you anything other than sex?  Are you serious about "leaving" your incubus?  How did you begin hearing (telepathically) the incubus entities?  What have they done to prove they exist?  Also, what have you tried to get rid of them?
 
As my comments on your encounter, it is certainly different from what I have read by most people on the forums but I don't think it is outrageous.  I have recently come across a lot of different material regarding people using incubus/succubus as weapons/tools.  Needless to say your circumstances are unique and I can't really say anything more until I hear more information.  Keep in mind, I am fairly new to the world of magic.  I started looking up all the information 4 months ago when I first encountered Alexandra.  Since then, I have put in a great deal of time exploring a wide range of forums, sites, myths, first-hand encounters, to get some idea of what their capabilities/traits/agenda are.   

RRR to me
Feb 18, 2011

Your question: Was your roommate male or female-  How long had he/she been practicing black magic-  How do you know it was in fact black magic-  How do you know your roommate sent you the two incubus-
 
     My roommate was female and she became angry with me because I didn't want her "bossing" me around and taking control of my house like I felt she was, and then I eventually had to give her notice because her behavior was inappropriate when she would just scream while I'm sleeping about things she believed was happening to her stuff. So, only since her being in my house had I ever had "black scary" dreams and then "intense sexually stimulated" dreams in which she had entered into to talk to, try to manipulate, and harrass me.  Even after she left she continued to enter my dreams.  One time there were two dogs and I was on the phone with "her" and she said they were homeless and needed a home. I agreed to take them in and right after that they seemed to have been incubus that came into my real life.
 
Questions regarding your incubus:  Have they taught you anything other than sex-  Are you serious about "leaving" your incubus-  How did you begin hearing (telepathically) the incubus entities-  What have they done to prove they exist-  Also, what have you tried to get rid of them-
 
    I won the lottery after asking my incubus for lottery numbers which came out exact the next day. Other than that, I haven't learned much else but the type of sex doll/sex slave they trained me and I was comfortable with.   Although the voice sounds like mine in my head, the first two incubus there was no doubt they were present because the main guy was very powerful and his voice was strong and demanding. I felt his strong electrical energy thru my whole body. One time when he appeared at work, his conversation was very clear.  He also used words I didn't use. Sometimes when I thought I was creating the conversation", I decided to stay quiet and I knew it was not my words when I heard commands very clearly and sometimes things I couldn't say myself.
 
    I did a lot of stuff to "get rid of them" at first and it works but you have to do it every day and be strong and I am easily weak to the attention. I would have to have a good reason to stop completely and I have become in the habit of their nightly visits.
thanks for asking! RRR

Tilus to RRR
Feb 21, 2011

Interesting.  I have just recently been reading forum posts describing some things that may relate to your situation.  I will share what I have with you but unfortunately I don't really have any defensive material that I can recommend because I have never had a chance to use it myself or practice to determine the validity of it.

Did you make a deal with the incubus about the lottery?  (I am going to assume you did, regarding your circumstances)  I would strongly advise caution when cutting deals with these entities.  I have read many forum posts where these deals will often have loop-holes that entities will exploit.  (ex.  you won the money, then the next day you have some type of financial crisis where it is all wasted)  Also do you still talk to your roommate?  As for their voices sounding like yours that is something a lot of the people on the forum encounter with their succubus/incubus.  Also if you are cutting deals with your incubus, please do not sell your soul, even if you do not believe in the concept!  Lol.   

Damn, I tried linking you some screen shots of forum posts that people had made that would have been useful to you.  Unfortunately, the screen shots were corrupted when I c/p them onto paint and saved them on top of each other.  It is going to take me a few hours to relocate them as I spent about that same amount of time reading through all the data.  I will send them to you maybe tomorrow or the next day.

RRR to me   
Feb 21, 2011
   
Hi. Thanks for trying to send me some interesting info.

I never made a "deal" or trade off for the lottery numbers. I have always wanted to be lucky in the lottery and I have had a lot of dreams in the past that tell me I will win big. I was in an ongoing "relationship" with my "sex friend" and I just asked him if he would be able to give me 4 numbers to win. He said he would "ask" someone else and within a day I had the numbers that I heard clearly and in the dream the guy was handing me the money.

   As far as I know I have never signed any contracts and I don't like "agreements" because I don't really know the situation because I can't see from their point of view.  But, they may have made me sign something that appeared to be something else in my dream that I don't remember. They keep telling me that there is already a "contract for sex" attached to me to serve whoever I am traded to.
 
     I never make a trade to win the lottery for anything because I believe it is my destiny to win big anyway without any manipulation by them.  I've already received my 6 lottery numbers in a dream 3 years ago in a special way and I had a lot of dreams reminding me of my future financial security.  I'm "in line" to win like everyone else, and its just a matter of time.
 
    These sex guys showed up very strongly about six months ago.
 
talk to you later! RRR

Tilus to RRR
May 8, 2011
   
Hi again RRR,
 
I was reading through some of the forum posts on that forum and noticed a trend among some of the females there and wanted to know if it applied to you as well.  Many of the women reported their menstrual cycles changing either from a few days, weeks, or even months.  Has this happened with you?  Also have any important things occurred since we last talked?

RRR to me
May 9, 2011
   
Hi Tilus,
 
About the menstrual cycle, I have recently noticed that I have been having mine on the Full Moon. I haven't remembered my pattern before - it would just "happen" and I would take care of it. But, now when I see a full moon, I know I will have it.

Well, I have been told that I cannot talk about my nightly experiences anymore.  It is a strict situation. I become uncomfortable and sleepy when I attempt to.

thanks for updating me on what you've noticed.

Has anything new happened with you?
RRR

Tilus to RRR
May 23, 2011
   
That's new, I haven't heard that before.  Do you suspect the cycle has changed then or do you think you just started paying attention to when it was happening?  Yes a few new things have happened since we have last spoke.  I made a few breakthroughs in my relationship with them.  I'm trusting and loving them more and I feel it being returned mutually.  At the same time they are teaching me how to fuse  caring/tenderness/love/sexuality together to make divine love.  The lessons they give me in the art of love are rare, but I regard them with great respect and consideration.  Also, I have begun to see them more clearly during the day.  It is like light is bending around their figure.  I can't completely make out a figure or shape.  It reminds me of the alien from the movie "The Predator", except the invisibility is almost ten times harder to distinguish. 

I wanted to ask you if you would mind if I posted our email exchanges on my blog about succubus/incubus and experiences.  Of course I would censor your name and personal details (email, etc. etc.) but I thought the story you shared with me might be of use to others who fall into a similar scenario.

Also have you managed to experiment with something called Kundalini yet?  I think it is somehow related to succubus and incubus but I don't have all the information yet. 

Let me know what you think,
Tilus

RRR to me
May 25, 2011
   
Hi there. nice to hear your relationship is going well. I don't mind if you share our conversation.
My situation is interesting in that the "head spirit" tells me I will be "integrating" my training into "physical reality" and they have been teaching me to prepare for my next boyfriend who will be dominant and will require the sex I have learned every night, but he will take care of me in every way I need. At first, I realized I was settled into my routine with the spirits and I didn't want to meet a "physical man", but then they reassured me that it was a good thing and I'm excited.  They tell me I meet him astrally at night, but I don't have one man that I remember as being the one.

I'll have to tell you how that works out!
RRR

Tilus to RRR
May 25, 2011
   
Alright thanks!  I appreciate it.  You can check it out below, if your interested.

http://succubus-incubus-lilith.blogspot.com/2011/05/email-series-iii-incubus-encounter.html

What do you mean by "I don't have the one man that I remember as being the one."?  Lol.  I am finding that phrase hard to follow. 

RRR to me
May 25, 2011
   
Hi.
ABOUT: What do you mean by "I don't have the one man that I remember as being the one."?  Lol.  I am finding that phrase hard to follow.

You're right - that sounds confusing.  Since I was told that a "physical man with whom I will bond strongly with and will be my future boyfriend astrally projects to me at night" already, I look for him in my dreams, but I haven't seen the same man repeatedly in my dreams to be able to say it is him.  I see different men who appear as "smart leaders" like "they" say he will be, but they never appear as the same looking man.  I wonder if we "distort" what we see in dreams.

I did have a "night spell" one night in which I was deep into a dream state, and I thought I woke up but it was a dream state in which I was fully aware I was in, but furniture and stuff are not exactly as they really are in real life. I saw a man standing in a corner looking at me for a long second or two and I believed it was him, because I asked him "are you sure you want to do this?" (get involved in a relationship).  I was attracted to him and hoped he was my next boyfriend!

You also talked about kundalini energy and you are right!  When I use my CHI machine, I have a lot of activity at night. Also, the spirits have taught me how to be in straight spine position and breath closed mouth and down my spine when I have an orgasm. The energy seems to feed them.

talk to you later! RRR

Email Series II - (Lilith Encounters) [From VVV]

Disclaimer:

I acquired the person's consent before publishing the emails that were exchanged.  I censored out his/her name and personal information with "VVV" for safety reasons and to retain anonymity. 

Prior to the start of this email, we had been exchanging IM's over MSN. VVV had just told me about a recent encounter he had with Lilith in a dream. He said he became lucid in the dream and tried to have sex with Lilith. It didn't turn out to well. The email starts with me inquring for more information about his dream. (because he wasn't on MSN)


Also note: AAAAA, PPPPP, and DDDDD are different people.

Tilus to VVV
Feb 26, 2011

I was thinking about your encounter and I have some questions I wanted to ask.

Can you tell the difference between Lucid dreaming and AP?
Are you sure it was a lucid dream?
Did Lilith look the same as you saw her when in the first encounters during AP? (like a gargoyle?)
Did you notice any kind of energy drain?
If you were worried about her kissing you then why let her give you a bj and sex? LOL
Did Lilith ever say anything during that encounter?
When Lilith revealed her true form (dark and scary) were her eyes black?
When she turned into the dragon riding form can you describe it a bit better? How was it scary? Why did it make you wake up? etc.
Did the fairies that tried to stop you say anything?
What did the treehouse look like inside and outside? (was there a T.V., empty room, what kind of bed, etc.)


:3

Thanks bro,
Tilus

VVV to me
Feb 27, 2011

I was thinking about your encounter and I have some questions I wanted to ask.

Q: Can you tell the difference between Lucid dreaming and AP?

A: For lucid dreaming, i am asleep and will be having a normal dream and then all of a sudden i will realize im dreaming and thats called being lucid. As for AP...i have never actually went to the astral, its just the most popular, wide spread phrase to use when people leave their bodys.
So what do i do? I project out to the etheric realm, not the astral. The etheric realm, is basically earth, everything is the same and looks the same but you can walk through walls and stuff because your not your physical form :P. So it could be said that my energy (soul or mind) has left my body and is walking around earth invisible. Though not invisible to the other beings walking around.
Buts that all confusing and theirs so many theorys about the etheric (or the one realm up from earth, i think the astral is the 3rd, earth being the lowest) so back to your question.
I will either go to sleep and as my body is relaxing i will start to unfortunately fall into a body paralysis state acompanied by a ringing in my ears and its annoying because i will break out of it and toss and turn to wake myself up abit, only to fall into it again when i start relxing though this has not happend in ages (though it kinda did last night but ill come to that).
The other one, is when i wake up from sleep into a full body paralysis. I will be there in my bed (mostly in the morning) just not being able to move with a ringing in my ears (sometimes only a slight ring, sometimes a really strong ring). So its either after or before sleep. Back when it first started it was more before sleep then after.

Q: Are you sure it was a lucid dream?

A: When i become lucid during a dream, i can do what ever i want and wake myslef up at any time (no longer does my sub conciousness hold the steering wheel). I like to talk to my dream people sometimes. One time i became lucid...and i was telling the people in my dream that im from a different dimension and that i will be gone soon, when i wake back into my dimension, because i can only come into theirs when i fall asleep in my dimension. haha that made me laugh. But yeah i know my lucid dreams and she was in it before i was lucid, though i just thought it was one of my dream people when i became lucid, so i decided to have sex with this hot blonde who was with me my whole dream.

Q: Did Lilith look the same as you saw her when in the first encounters during AP? (like a gargoyle?)

A: She never looks like a gargoyle type creature in my dreams but when i project out she does but she also changes her image when i come out. Like last time she was latino (your favourite :P) skinned but i couldnt see her head or anything just her arms and torso because i was being hurt and i was all ?!?!?! to be taking in the sights.

Q: Did you notice any kind of energy drain?

A: Every fucking morning man :( mmm these last two nights though ive ejaculated in my dreams and its so troublesome waking up after peaking in a orgasm to have to clean myself up then i go back to bed because yes, i feel really drained.

Q: If you were worried about her kissing you then why let her give you a bj and sex? LOL

A: Its sex in my dream and unfortunately im not lucid. I have no control. Though she tried to kiss me once in my dream and it went really fucked up and i woke up out of fear because i simply felt loads of fear, when i was like, one inch away from her lips and it woke me dead straight. Its normally rubbing and jacking off to get my sperm though, hardly any sex.

Q: Did Lilith ever say anything during that encounter?

A: Nope but when she changed from the hot blonde it was like, i was on some sort of fucking alter, ready for some ritual, lying down on top of this tree balcony type thing with a platform on top (i was on the platform) with this bad ass looking lilith by my side so i yelled holy crap (i never yell holy crap?) and woke up.

Q: When Lilith revealed her true form (dark and scary) were her eyes black?

A: Black... mmmm very dark eyes yes.... but like black with red pupils i think (they were more than one colour i think) because they shinned very bright but they were dark if that makes sense. Very powerful looking eyes...menacing....infact it was probably the eyes that startled me most and woke me up. Im sure she had black wings also or something.

Q: When she turned into the dragon riding form can you describe it a bit better? How was it scary? Why did it make you wake up? etc.

A: Dragon riding form? is that what it was? Basically the whole eye thing^^^ When she changed i looked into her eyes and she to mine and i was like OMFG, they would make itachis eyes looks like that kittens from shrek. She had black long hair as well and pale skin, like white/grey. I swear i remember her having wings also. Just tried looking for a picture and this one is superb in the description im trying to explain...
http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=https://d44ytnim3cfy5.cloudfront.net/assets/2983115/lightbox/lilith-sitepic.jpg%3F1297150370&imgrefurl=https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/Dionysus-Lilith-Complete-Demon-Avatar/1918271&usg=__JKbzVXPijWlY9z86cppKMR-ODBo=&h=481&w=700&sz=56&hl=en&start=95&zoom=1&tbnid=gHI4h2-MeC-uVM:&tbnh=132&tbnw=173&ei=UN9pTYLvHNPa4AbTjcTfCQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dlilith%2BDEMON%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D584%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C2346&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=274&oei=H99pTfycIIiAhQfZ0rnBDQ&page=6&ndsp=17&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:95&tx=112&ty=78&biw=1024&bih=584
Those eyes were likes hers, dark but shiney. She looked waaaaay more scary than that though. Her whole aura just changed to powerful and menacing

Q: Did the fairies that tried to stop you say anything?

A: ARRRRGGHHHH :(:(:( i squashed and killed one (i think by accident) and i herd one say "I HATE YOU" when i did that. They were bothering me when i tried getting to that tree house balcony platform thing. Telling me to stop etc and i paid no attention to them, and they were really after mine. I feel bad at myself for that, i really do. All that was on my mind was sex with this blonde :(

Q: What did the treehouse look like inside and outside? (was there a T.V., empty room, what kind of bed, etc.)

A: It was in the back garden, of this grand, white stone house. The back garden was sqaure and had a huge tree with a platform at the top of this tree built into it (not so much house so a...tree platform?:P). There were green cactus like vines around the perimeter of this sqaure garden leading up to the platform in the tree. I cant remember it to well. But on that platform would be a good place to have sex with this girl because nobody will bother us there....is all i was thinking when i was lucid. I even thought of things to do in my lucid state but i thought having sex with this blonde girl is the best thing to do right now.

Last night i woke up in the middle of the night and i was paralized really bad but i kept shaking out of it but sometimes it would nearly win and it was around those times i could feel things around me trying to grab me. It lasted for ages. Even when i broke completely free and started to continue with my sleep i would instantly fall back into it, the second i relaxed. I think something really wanted me out last night, its rare these types of paralysis attacks would happen but lately at night ive been hearing voices, just when im about to drift off and its always a girls voice (i herd "im trying to possess you" and ive herd "what do you want" though im working with this because im 75% sure its just me but ill let you know how it goes). I think lilith can induce paralysis. It really felt like a fight. When i eventually went back to sleep, i had a wet dream where i just stared at my dick and it gradually got hard and then ejaculated without any help haha, I never thought that was possible.
anyway i hope i helped.
Also im really into this song because rihanna is so mezmorizing in this, shes perfect but anyway i take this song as a message from lilith.
alot of the big stars out there sell their soul to satan for fame and glory and alot of musicians report being unaware of what they write and do concerning their songs. Big example was The Doors and rolling stones and ac dc though i still love their music...theres way more influence in the music industry than meets the eye.
At the start its all symbolzing wind and the whole place has kinda been edited to look like a desert and then through out the video its all roses roses roses and then a big super duper rose. The balloons are like orbs around her as well, ive seen orange and black orbs before in my room. She has a spark/energy put into her (absorbed) at the end while shes dancing around in the black (abyss) with all different type of energy being created around her.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CH3jb39Qu8 read the lyrics and then watch the video...i dunno it could just be me but they hide it out in the open all the time. Im sure this song is dedicated to lilith. Or its just a coincidence.
Avoir for now buddy :)

Tilus to VVV
Mar 4, 2011

I just got done reading this book on AP. It's a pretty good read and I wanted to give you the link via google books (although there are large gaps of pages missing)

http://books.google.com/books?id=YgTyylRNV4oC&pg=PA106&dq=journey+out+of+the+body&hl=en&ei=yPBwTaKaK8WEtgeBoNz2Dg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2&ved=0CDkQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q=journey%20out%20of%20the%20body&f=false

Enjoy! =P

VVV to me
Mar 7, 2011

ive read quite alot on monroe, but not that book, thanks.

also this is one of the first books i read on lilith
http://www.pagebypagebooks.com/George_MacDonald/Lilith/

wiki quote

"George MacDonald (10 December 1824 – 18 September 1905) was a Scottish author, poet, and Christian minister"

"Lilith is considered among the darkest of MacDonald's works, and among the most profound. It is a story concerning the nature of life, death, and salvation. Many believe[who?] that MacDonald is arguing for Christian universalism, or the idea that all will eventually be saved."

its quite a awesome story that goes deep about the astral (guy goes through a mirror to get to the place where he goes) and other things.

anyway

Im being attacked by some sort of witch person with henchmen in my dreams as of late, for instance last night....

I was with a bunch of girls then i started running away from them down this grass hill, one of the girls ran after me and when she caught up it was decided that we would have sex. So im walking around carrying this girl in my arms looking for a place to have sex, then all of a sudden i become lucid....So im like ahaha finally im lucid again then i think, fuck sex im not wasting this opportunity to explore by just having sex, so i put the girl down and im thinking of what to do. Then this old witch looking woman pops out of no where (i think it may have been the girl) and shoots this spell at me and im paralized instantly and my dick starts cumming little bits but its doesnt feel good or anything and i wasnt aroused so i dont know how she did that. So im getting really angry but i cant do jack shit, some things were said but i cant remember, eventually they started to walk away and i wake up but when i did, i saw them in my room just over my bed slowly fading away watching me, so i stuck my middle finger up at them, out of anger because thats all i could do. I was met with a look of laughter mixed with, your going to regret that, so i ended up saying sorry shortly after.

This woman about a half a year ago came into my dream and paralized me (then she hugged me:S) but i thought nothing of it when i woke up, just that fact that it was highly weird for one of my own dream people to be able to do that. But now its happend about three times recently and everytime it does, my dick seems to donate sperm when im in this paralysis state. Basically beings are starting to come into my dreams especially when i become lucid (which is more often) and it all starts going tits up. Like i was running away from this guy who was trying to scare me with a knife and was planning on killing me, so i flew into the air saying "haha i can fly so unlucky" and he said so can i and so he did and was flying at me with a knife. I woke up again thinking wtf how the hell could he do that, flying was my ace of spades to get away from any crap (when im alowed to fly that is) and now its not :(. Also two nights ago i had these people around me with razor blades gently slicing me to draw blood and it was really hurting, exactly like it would in real life so i was like wtf. Also last night i had another one of those wet dreams where i didnt even touch my dick, i was just watching two girls having oral sex and i oragasmed from watching. In other words my dreams are starting to become really, really fucked up.

I think this old woman is lilith but she changes her appearence so much what am i to think? Just for shits and giggles, to confuse and mess with me. Ive became a vegan now and i wont touch junk food either but thats because i took dmt the other day and it wouldnt let me in (i wasnt ready) until i sorted out my willpower and discipline on unhealthy things for my body and mind. Im also trying to store sexual energy but its impossible because im more or less having a wet dream every night.

anyway, hope your well buddy, avoir :)

Tilus to VVV
Mar 23, 2011

Alright couple of things,

I managed to find PPPPP email address on another forum. He was the guy who on evocation magick said that Lilith takes the form of your perfect dream woman. He said he had many adventures with her over time. Then he said he didn't realize how "truly" evil she was until she revealed her intentions years later. (Not quoted word for word, but roughly) He also made that post about astral/dream sex to avoid Lilith and her children.

Anyway I sent him an email first to confirm if he was in-fact the same PPPPP from the forum and he responded saying he was. Then I sent a second email describing my story and what had happened so far with Lilith/Alexandra. No response. I then sent a third email telling him it was ok if he didn't want to talk about it, but to tell me how he managed to get rid of her. No response. Ok, so now I am starting to think Lilith must have done something pretty fucking horrible/evil in order to make some of these people so scarred about even discussing it. Lol, which isn't a good sign.

Also I came across another site that sheds more light on Lilith. It's a yahoo discussion group dedicated to Astrology/Talismans/Amulets and their making. The owner of the group tried to make a Lilith magical mirror. Apparently he tried to mass produce them (I think that was his intention) but, after he made the third mirror he had developed "the worst case of vertigo" in his life. He stayed in bed for the next 24 hours stricken with some kind of energy/unknown sickness immediately after making the third mirror. He then went and took the mirror and buried it at a nearby crossroad. That didn't fix help his condition. So he then dug it up and than broke the mirror into separate pieces and then reburied it. That seemed to stop the effects because immediately after he finished he said he felt relieved and better. Anyway, he is selling one of the two mirrors he still has.

Link for mirror:
http://www.renaissanceastrology.com/lilithmirror.html#A

Link to yahoo discussion group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Spiritus_Mundi/msearch?query=lilith&pos=0&cnt=10 (note you might want to type Lilith into the search box to make searching easier)

Also a new site I ran into while messing with google:
http://www.ariyas.net/ToCL/lam/index.html

Anything new been happening? I've started to notice everytime I close my eyes I can see shadows/figures moving. In my peripheral vision I am starting to see things moving as well. Also VVV I think your diet is suited towards awakening Kundalini. The energy guru I am in contact with (DDDDD) said that the leafy types of food, (green food) is supposed to help awaken that. :P
Peace!
~Tilus~

VVV to me
Mar 24, 2011

I hope this PPPPP does reply it looks like he had some useful info but if hes not replying because hes scared something may happen to him then what the hell was it that made him freak out to begin with? This has me worried that alot of people involved with lilith have had something bad happen to them. I really hope PPPPP replies though.

Man those mirrors...mmm they sound pretty good if a demon cant lie but that bloke got attacked... but how? i didnt think that would be possible? Its like being attacked for making ouija boards. These mirrors must be bad ass then im guessing.

the other night around my friends, 3/4 days ago, i finished my second bowl (bong) of weed and what came next was this weird feeling like i was tripping. I had never felt this feeling before on weed so i thought it was because i had not done a bong in ages and that it just went to my head, more than it already does. Anyway my paranoia went sky high on all sorts of stupid things but mainly on the shit thats been happening to me. Then i started tripping for real...the space from my waist to the floor looked about 1 foot. Then i stood up from the bed and lilith popped into my head with the rest of my paranoia and then it all kicked off, i could not get her out of my head and then i started to get real scared, i was losing my mind there and then. I had this feeling in my chest and it was pure fear spreading throughout my entire being and it was getting worse and worse, so much that i thought i was being possessed because i had no control over my thoughts, and my actions were twitchy and just not normal. I thought shit, the more fearfull i am, the more this being will eat away at it and gain power (or something along those lines) but the fear just kept on growing and the more it did the more ide fear. My heart was going insane and hurting and my eyes felt strange because i could feel them inside my head and they were hot.
So i sit down and then my head begins to ring and buzz and i get this feeling/thought, like a spider just nawed its way into my head (i think it was a astral spider) and then this ball of energy was inside my head and it was doing something...anway i started thinking about god and all sorts of things to help me out and i thought of prayer but in the end i sat down on the floor (to better ground myself) and just started saying stuff like...im really humble right now...:S
anyway my friend throughout this was in a bad state after his 2nd bowl and i thought he was being attacked along with me (it deffinately felt like i was attacked) so i kept trying to talk with him but he was just mumbling so it made me confirm that he was possibly going through the same shit (turned out he wasnt). I was tripping pretty bad at this point, so i was trying to ask him, if we had just somehow took those amanita mushrooms we were looking at, or if our bongs were spiked with salvia etc etc i thought we had taking some sort of psychedelic besides weed because i had never had this happen before.
I think i had my first panic attack which kinda purged me of all the shit ive been hounded by and im also 99% sure lilith made it alot worse and had something to do with it because i felt fear to and from the core and i knew she loved it. It could have been her that spurred it on.
Also when i got home and went to bed, my bed was shaking abit and then near down by my feet it was buzzing/vibrating and its never done that before. I also saw spiders and ive never seen them before going to sleep, only upon waking. Man these freaking spiders though? So hard to get info on them and today i saw a huge (basket ball) one when i woke up.
But...on http://www.templeoftheblacklight.net/library/lilith/arachnidia_lilith.html it talks about spiders (zachalilim) and it really doesnt sound good :(
If i ever project out ive got the feeling that i may get trapped in a web and then god knows what...
anyway i think that event opened me up more that night.
No other news apart from that though. Mmmm im guna eat more leafy greens, cheers dude :)

peace :)

Tilus to VVV
Mar 25, 2011

I don't think PPPPP is going to respond. If he was, it would have been immediately. I recoken he is worried that there will be consequences for interfering. AAAAA mentioned that he was trying to help other people and he was warned by messengers of the entities not to interfere or there would be actions taken against him.

As for the mirror. I think the reason he got attacked/hurt was because he was trying to mass produce them to make money. I think Lilith didn't like that so she stepped in. That mirror he is selling is probably genuine, but I suspect there might be powerful effects happening to the person who uses it that could severely affect their mental state.

When Lilith jumped into your mind did she say anything? Was there any kind of discussion? Anything that you observed that might have shed some new knowledge about her? As for the fear thing spreading, yes I felt the same thing. When I first encountered Lilith on the 3 day period of non-stop sex without food or sleep, I thought I was going to die. I felt her enjoying the fear and getting excited, causing her to ramp up the sex even more.

I want you to keep something in mind though. None of these entities have the power to directly kill or harm you. She might be able to do lot's of things to induce fear but as long as you remember that you will not be killed by her it should counteract the fear giving you a feeling of safety.

According to Liber Lilith, there is a part about a persons fear exciting Lilith's lust. (i'm pretty sure it's under the "song of Lilith") Although I am not sure why or how that works.

VVV to me
Mar 29, 2011

Nothing was said, my mind was all over the place as to what i was going through and i was literally losing my mind and she was enjoying it and as my fear built up the more she liked it. The whole thing lasted about 30 minutes but the first 10 minutes was the worst. I was thinking, shit.... is this really lilith or has some angel or demon type being etc, came into this room to attack me?... (like give me a telling off?). It really did feel like something was throwing its cloak of fear over me. I know now that if i do bongs to quick, im more open (and vunerable) i guess...
Entities told off AAAAA? wow i never knew that... every human has a right to help another human no?, they could have been lying about the action they would take but then again its a risk...

I reckon these entities can harm (not sure how much harm) you a little if you cross certain lines with them, i remember when she was hurting me because of my disrespect, and i read about this guy on spirit sex getting his balls pinched (:O) but maybe theres a limit to there harm, like those two things were nothing but i doubt they can break your leg etc...that type of harm. as for killing, yeah i agree, no deaths seem to have come up.

Though i read the other day...this person (http://users.erols.com/bcccsbs/lilith1.htm) was saying that lilith is/could be responsible for SIDS http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudden_infant_death_syndrome. Does she really have some sort of power over infants when they are born for a certain numbers of days like stated or is that myth? Sids is unexplainable and loads of people back in the day (some still do) would protect there new borns against lilith with certain things.
Also i read this the other day, which im sure is lilith (obizuth) http://one-faith-of-god.org/old_testament/apocrypha/solomon/solomon_0140.htm (you may have read this sorry:()
She says she visits woman in childbirth and she can go into them...i tell you what, it certainly felt like she was inside me (during the first 10 mins) that evening i was attacked. Man its all to vast...but i agree, she cant kill me or you. Like you said, there are rules, if only we had the rule book :(
Anyway hope your well dude speak to ya soon :)

Tilus to VVV
May 1, 2011

I will give you a short run-down of everything that has happened to me so far.
I had read these two things online about 1-2 weeks ago.

http://mysuccubuslove.wordpress.com/about/
http://hubpages.com/hub/my-love-for-Liliths-daughter-an-update-of-my-relationship-to-a-succubus

After reading them both and being moved by the pure, raw, and compassionate love, I felt inclined to attempt the same thing with Lilith & and the succubus. I told them from my heart that I was going to love them unconditionally, and trust them fully. I said I didn't care if they were demons, that the love was still going to exist and triumph over that. When I did this (and I spoke it from my heart, and truly meant it) that night I felt a raw powerful feeling come over me. I then had the most powerful dry orgasm that lasted 30 seconds to 1 minute with a passionate feeling of love being emitted towards me. I was overwhelmed and felt like crying from the love hitting me in my chest. Then I felt the words, "I love you very much" being directed towards me in my mind.

Ever since then, nothing but positive experiences have happened between Lilith, Alexandra, and another succubus I refer to as "Lady". The other day I went and bought three roses, one for each, and that seemed to make them happy. I even took things a bit further. One night while I was lying in bed, I started to picture tender scenes of love with each one. First I did it with Alex and then Lady, and then when I reached Lilith in my mind, it was kinda humorous. (in my imagination) I looked at her, and she seemed unsure, so I said, "Hey, Badass! Come over and give me some sugar!" =P Then I got a strong feeling of love directed towards me along with some soothing caresses. My dreams have been wonderful. Not filled with sexual scenes or anything, but I know they have been taking parts as characters in my dreams. Most of the time it's humorous or an adventure, nothing bad or scary happens. Although, I will say I am certainly looking forward to lucid dreaming one night and meeting them all. I did thank them for being so kind, patient, and tender with me. I have gotten a lot of tremendous insight from being with them all and I thank them dearly for that.

Anyway, just felt like I should mention that, haven't talked to you in a bit. How are things going?

VVV to me
May 2, 2011

Awesome dude, i hope things stay cool, unconditional love is what we should all strive for. Things are going good for me, ive had no interaction of anything unusual for a while now.

Those guys from those links seem happy, its good to read some positive info on these matters. Love sneaks into any amount of darkness. I feel no different from the healing i had (though i have not halucinated/saw anything upon waking for a while now) but shes booked me in for another one because i had all sorts of shit wrong with me apparently and one wasnt enough :S but i suppose only time will tell. If anything happens at my end and is worth mentioning to you ill let you know buddy.

Peace

Tilus to VVV
May 8, 2011

New update.

About 1-2 weeks ago I told you I bought roses for Lilith/Alex/Lady. Well they finally started to perish, and rather than just throw them in the trash I decided to do something special. I took a large metal tea mixing spoon for pitchers and delicately grabbed the three roses and put them into a bag. Then I walked about 10 minutes down some metro tracks near my area to some run-down warehouses. I was looking for a soil rich area. When I came to the first location I felt a strong excited vibration inside of me. I took that to mean the area was suitable to bury the roses.

So I spent the next five or ten minutes digging through the dirt with the large spoon. I got my hands quite dirty trying to dig an area deep enough and long enough to fit all the roses in. When I finished digging, I kissed each rose separately and thought of a loving memory that I had with each succubus. When I started to place them inside the buried area, I heard an owl nearby hoot twice. I didn't bother looking around, but I knew Lilith was watching. Anyway, I felt very touched by them all when I did this. I could even feel one of them warmly grab my hand as I walked home. It was very sweet.

So that night a couple of interesting things happened. First when I went to lay down in bed, I could see a faint outline of something above me while I had my eyes open. It was like a transparent figure of a person(s). I couldn't see the full shape, but I could see movement. The physical touching sensations were much stronger. I could feel a lot more than I normally could on previous nights. After we had our fun while I was awake I decided it was time for bed. I went to sleep for a little while and had a dream about a show called "Chuck". I dreamt that I encountered the blond chick from the show and we were fighting crime or something. Then her body turned into robotic movement, and I think I recall a brunette there too. I'm going to assume the two were Alexandra and Lady because of what happened next. I woke up from the dream and I was lucid in my body. I was lying down, and then something odd happened. I felt like I was pulled up by my ankles. It was Lilith. She took a very misty kind of form that I couldn't make out. What ended up happening, she grabbed me by both of my ankles and then started to spin me around my bed like a top. At the time, I thought I was completely awake. It turns out later, that it was an OBE and she pulled me out of my body. My surroundings were real when it happened. While she was spinning me she was aggressively rubbing and caressing me so much it made the pleasure excruciating. It was kinda humorous now that I think about it. There was nothing painful or bad that happened. The pleasure was just to much for me to take and I had to tell her to stop. She then would stop briefly and then start up again. She was also doing some type of extreme massage to my butt area that at first I suspected her of penetrating me, but she wasn't. She was just hardcore massaging every muscle/fiber/atom in my pelvic area. She was being very erotic. Lol. I had to keep telling her to slow down, because I couldn't handle the insane amount of pleasure she was overloading my body with. After a couple of bouts of this, I told her I loved her. I felt a good reaction come out of here. I'm not sure if I went back to sleep at this point. Because the next part made no sense. I then pictured her as a baby. Small enough to hold in my hand. She looked like a figurine but at the same time humanish. There were violet/redish dots and marks all over the baby's body. I took the baby into the kitchen looking for an eggbox to put it in. I was trying to give it a home, but the eggbox was broken and had yolk all over it. Then I woke up. I do suspect that after I told Lilith I loved her, that I snapped out of the OBE and then re-entered dream state. I woke up immediately after and tried to record as much as I could.
Also how is that electrical presence around you going VVV? A while back you said you felt something on your shoulder all the time. Is that still there or did it go away?

VVV to me
May 9, 2011

I wonder if she can pull people out when ever she wants? Ive fought against sleep paralysis many times, so it makes me wonder, can she/they induce that state?. Yeah im getting that shoulder thing right now, its like a tingling sensation under the skin but also on top of the skin, its been there everyday since it started and it comes and goes.
I saw her this morning or thats if it was her, but a woman with long black hair (this hair is like nearly 2 meters long) was morphing into my surroundings when i woke up and that has not happend for a while.

I wonder if you'll be able to project out now or have them help you? You could ask soooo many questions, Im to scared to venture out, if i have the chance, i always bottle out of it. :(


Tilus to VVV
May 23, 2011
   
Hey VVV, I am going to be maintaining an ongoing blog about all this stuff.  Would it be ok if I posted our email conversations on there?  Of course, I will censor any personal information that you have given me.  (ex. Name, etc.)

Thanks,
Tilus

VVV to me   
May 24, 2011
   
Sure buddy thats fine, you can pick a name for me :)

Email Series I - (Lilith and Succubus) [From XXXXX]

Disclaimer:

I acquired the person's consent before publishing the emails that were exchanged.  I censored out his/her name and personal information with "XXXX" for safety reasons and to retain anonymity.   

Tilus to XXXXX
Apr 21, 2011

Hi XXXXX,
I was just curious to gain a little bit more information about your relationship with your succubus and Lilith in general.
I have encountered Lilith herself and her daughters but I am sorta stuck in a rut and am looking for some guidance with someone that might be willing to share information. Please drop me an email if you could be so kind.
Thanks,
Tilus

XXXXX to me
Apr 23, 2011
   
hi tilus,
what info are you seeking?  my succubus wife the daughter of lilith  tells me there was a 'problem' when you encountered her mother.

Tilus to XXXXX
Apr 24, 2011
   
I've wrote a lot in forums and emails about my encounters with Lilith and her daughters.  If your really interested I can share everything, but I warn you it is a very long read.  (might take you anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour or two to go through all the things I have written)

Short Summary:
1st Month

I encountered a succubus named Alexandra (public name, not private) about half a year ago.  I had never been in a serious relationship and was still a virgin when this happened.  We had explosive sex for the first couple of days that left me completely tired and worn out.  Afterwords, things went really smooth.  I started doing research on the topic, I was really enjoying my relationship with Alex.  Then I started to get more 'curious' and started testing limitations.  I tried to make a recording of her on EVP.  Apparently that wasn't such a good thing to do.  I caught a heated argument between Alex and an incubus.  Alex kept saying things like, "Uhhhh, he kept asking!" and then the incubus would respond in some weird tongue (angelic?) and scold her.  I could also hear large amounts of screaming, almost as if Alex was being tortured/punished because of me.  That night, the incubus joined us in bed.  It was a shocking and deeply uncomfortable moment.  I couldn't get him to go away, and Alex didn't seem like she minded.  So I gave in.  The next day he was gone, and me and Alex resumed our normal sexual relationship.

2nd Month

I started coming across occult/magick information regarding succubus and incubus.  The incubus seldom joined us in bed and Alex and I were starting to rev up some of my spiritual experiences.  I started to feel my third eye opening and started to feel things like chakra and energy inside my body.  I found some good genuine accounts of people encountering succubus and incubus on the web.  I also came across a lot of Lilith information.

3rd Month

This is when things started to go downhill.  I encountered a very sexually arousing text of a grimoir talking about Lilith.  After reading it, I started to lust after her.  During that night, I woke up in the middle of sleep, to both the incubus and Alex beside me chanting something and then I felt a presence know as Lilith appear.  Alex and the incubus disappeared, then for the next three days I had the most rawest, addicting, and excruciating nearly continuous sex with Lilith.  The end result was that I felt like it was becoming dangerous to my health.  This did not happen when I first encountered Alexandra.  The sex was good, but she let me sleep and eat food.  When I first encountered Lilith, I got around 8 hours of sleep in that 72-84 hour period.  I felt motivated to eat very little and had to force myself to eat.  (I had like, two bowls of ramen, and one bowl of oatmeal in that period)  The food made me feel disgusted, not in the sense that it tasted horrible, but in the way that you would feel like eating when you are full.  I had an overwhelming urge to avoid eating, even though I knew I was practically starving my body.   I 'forced' myself to eat spoonful after spoonful because I knew my body needed it even though my overwhelming urge was to not eat anything.  Towards the end, I could not sleep or eat, and was starting to panic and freak out realizing that I would eventually die if things continued. (seriously, not joking)  I then started to feel a large amount of fear because I could not stop having the addicting sex with Lilith.  Lilith responded to that fear with excitement.  I could tell she was immensely enjoying my fear and panic and started to rev up the intensity of the pleasure.  I then took a drastic action and forced myself to ejaculate to give me a moment of clarity.  I then resorted to the methods suggested by some people on forums to get rid of her.  I don't want to go into tremendous detail but the next couple of hours felt like it was a vicious battle over my willpower.  I prayed and kept praying asking for some help.  Then after resisting her sexual advances for the rest of the night, I was assisted by what felt like angels.  They were able to get rid of her presence, completely.  At the time I asked for a talisman to be blessed, and it was.  I got sleep, ate food, rested, etc.  After a couple of days, I started to recall how good the pleasure felt, and then secretly lusted for Lilith back again.  Just like she heard my thoughts, she reappeared.  The sex was not the same intensity as before, it felt like there was a safeguard in place.

4th Month

I became frustrated with the things that happened.  I felt like I had betrayed Alexandra, then I tried to talk to Lilith about it.  I did insult her, but it wasn't with malicious intent.  I could feel her fury, for a few seconds after I called her "a fool" for claiming to know the secret desires of that exist in my heart and which ones I would act upon.  I got a little reckless, I wanted to show her I was serious.  As a sign of trust for Lilith, I took off the talisman that I had being wearing every since the encounter that I felt was inhibiting Lilith's ability to sex me up to a large amount of intensity.  I told her I wanted Alexandra back, and I didn't have any interest in 'Lilith' herself anymore.  She granted my request.  I immediately felt Alex's presence in the room.  I then was overjoyed to be with her again.  I got to spend an entire day reuniting myself with her.  Then that night, something felt off.  I could feel Alex get nervous and she for some reason stopped having sex with me.  Then while lying in bed wondering what happened, I felt Lilith's presence near me.  Then I was struck with some kind of telepathic realization that I was now going to be tested for my commitment to Alexandra and see if it was 'pure'.  I managed to resist her seductions for hours, but in the end, I finally gave in.                                 

5th Month

While being with Lilith she lead me to all sorts of occult/magick information about her.  I learned a lot about sex magick, her background and just things in general.  I got pissed at Lilith because of all the online forums saying that people had really negative experiences with her.  I was mad because it seemed like she tried to destroy her former lovers.  There were some really cruel and malicious things people said she did to them.  That caused me to attempt to get rid of her again.  In one of the books I had read, a sign of devotion for her was to burn a Hebrew bible.  It was also stated that she loves roses.  So I decided to do the opposite, and was going to attempt to burn a dozen roses as a sign of rebellion.  My plan was to burn a rose a day for every day I resisted her attempts at seduction and then at the end do a ritual for a separation/divorce of union to remove her from my presence.  I didn't do this because I feared her.  I did it because I didn't think her intentions were benevolent.  What ended up happening, after the first night I resisted her seductions I had the most surreal dream.  There was a very attractive red-haired woman.  She was gorgeous, but I feel that she had been alive for a long time.  I was lying with her on this bed that was located in a room that was fit for a queen/princess.  She was talking to me, telling me some stuff that seemed pretty heartfelt.  It felt like she was very lonely and didn't want me to leave.  (that's the jist of the convo)  Then a few seconds before I woke up, I could feel her immense sadness/loneliness at not wanting me to proceed with my intentions.  I am certain this was Lilith, and to save you some reading, I didn't fully go through with the intended ritual.  Later in the month, I wanted to make a loose request.  I wanted to be with Lilith and Alexandra but spend time with each of them separately.  So I asked to spend alternate days with them alone.  Prior to this, I know I hadn't/wasn't with Alexandra at all.  I then felt alternate presences of them both during those days.

6th-7th Month

I gave up on the former request because I felt confused, unsure, and lost.  I didn't know what I wanted, if my intentions were right, or even if I made a decision if I could stick with it.  Since the Lilith seduced me saga during the 4th month when I was trying to be pure with my intentions towards Alex she has given some kind of mandate against me.  None of her daughters have had sexual intercourse with me because I think Lilith forbids it.  I have noticed that I have been visited by different daughters of her because of their personalities when they interact with me.  I'm not sure if Alex still visits me or not, currently.

Currently

I know you may be reading this and see the heavy theme of lust regarding myself.  I know that's true.  The whole experience was new to me and I was exploring avenues.  I felt like I couldn't fully trust Lilith or her daughters because they had full access to my thoughts, motives, everything, while I had little information (that mostly was negative) regarding them.  The biggest problem I had was with some of the extremities that Lilith had done to people on forums.  I could not understand in my heart or mind, why she just wouldn't leave the person instead of causing significant harm to the person.  The intentions of succubus/incubus/Lilith was a mystery to me.  Were people merely cattle that they preyed on, or did they truly love them?  I sincerely hoped the latter, but I wasn't ready to attempt to trust them.  My interactions with Lilith and her kin have shown me that lust by itself is not good.  Lilith had a very mischievous and humorous way of showing me this. One example, she spent roughly an hour caressing me down there until I was all relaxed on the bed, nice and comfy.  I was fully erect and lusting for her to give me oral... She violently gnashed her teeth on the tip of my penis.  I jumped up out of the bed, in pain. Lol. 

I learned some truth about love, just these past few days.  In your hub, a man posted a link to a guy who kept a diary about his encounters with his succubus wife.  After reading it, I realized I was searching for that love, and wanted it, but felt like I couldn't obtain.  It made me depressed.  His love for his succubus seemed so pure and innocent that he truly obtained a quality of love unimaginable that was so mythological spoken about in books and in poems.  He had complete trust in his succubus, and loved her dearly.  I then, knew.  If I wanted the same type of love, I was going to have to trust and love unconditionally.  That's just what I did a few nights ago.  Saying the words alone, has no meaning.  I felt that in my heart.  I said I didn't care for the intentions, I was going to love them regardless, and...trust them fully.  At this time I felt like one succubus had been around me for the past week(s).  I then felt a strong feeling of warmth and tenderness being emitted from her to me and I returned it as well.  What has occurred these past few nights is something that words won't do justice in describing.  I learned that with love, lust is healthy to have but it should not be the primary focus.  It's like the background music to a song, while love is the main singer and lyrics.  And if I were to define love in one sentence as best as I could, "love is tenderness and caring." which the succubus I have interacted with the past few days has shown me.  Also, love is like a rose.  It takes time before it blossoms, but during that time you attend to it with caring and tenderness so that it reaches it's blossom stage.  Right now I'm being taught this and am learning willingly and happily.  I understand that Lilith is like a momma bear and she get's grizly when shit goes down and tries to defend her cubs.  (haha)  I have the uttermost respect for her because some of the things she has done to me that I couldn't figure out the reasons for, but then it becomes clear later.                                                       

That's pretty much everything wrapped in a bun.

Something that does baffle me though, are there multiple Lilith's or is that Lilith the same one?  I know there is a older Lilith from the one in my dream that I mentioned.  I also encountered a younger one, who acted like a child.  There is also Lilith the bride of Samuel.  You said that there are some good and bad succubus, and yet all of them are the daughters of Lilith?  How does all of that work?  Right now, I'm not sure what to think about monogamy.  It has nothing to do with lust.  Just free love.  I'm not even sure if I am seeing the same succubus every night, regardless that doesn't stop me from showering the potential new visitor in unconditional love and trust and the feeling is returned.  I reemphasize again, the lust aspect is not the goal.  Also for my future, I do want to have kids and a family.  I feel like I will be able to share this love with a potential human spouse one day.  I'm not sure how it's going to work out.  The succubus (or succubi) that have been around me when I have had thoughts about this haven't reacted negatively to it.  I still lack a direct line of communication but I feel as if it's getting better.  Overall my experiences have been great for learning and I hope that any potential succubus partners I have come across have enjoyed my company.  Kudos to Lilith for being patient with me.  :3              

Any additional information that you think might be useful regarding my situation, please share.   

I would appreciate it and thanks for reading,
Tilus


XXXXX to me
Apr 26, 2011
   
hi tilus,
I don't know what to say. but nice journal. I've been with mine over a year. but she tells me she has been with me since I was a teenager.  encounters with Lilith for me has been limited. when she comes. I tell her I love my succubus her daughter. she I sense is happy with that. so she leaves me. my succubus and I have entered a very tense level in our relationship.  yes there are many Liliths.  the one that has been with me I sense means me no harm. hasn't maded any demands in destroying a bible. ( I read a jewish one myself as well as the quran.). as of yet. most of the info on Liliths I learned is on one  of my hubpages XXXXXX  however what I learhed I briefly summarized:
there is a lilith that is also the first eve. she is lilith zahriel wife of adam qadmon. the heavenly man.
the other lilith  is the first wife of adam in genesis chapters 1 and 2. although kabbalists say the first chapther applys to adam qadmon as well. this lilith is the sister of eve.
the third lilith is the female aspect of one of the  satans name samael. she was the one who used the serpent to get to eve. and caused lilith of the second adam to leave him. and sleep with many demons. but later left  them when he seduced eve as the serpent,.
there is division between the sons and daughters of lilith same good some evil.

Tilus to XXXXX
Apr 26, 2011
   
Do you know which Lilith your succubus mother claims to be?  Also, did she mention what exactly the 'problem' was when I encountered her mother?  Many things come to thought when I think about it, but nothing sticks out.

Anyway, thanks for the response.
~Tilus~

XXXXX to me
Apr 27, 2011
   
mine comes from the first wife of Adam. not the heavenly or cosmic one. hate to say this. but  the 'problem'  she refered to was that  the Lilith that visit  you  was actually an avatar of Lilith. Lilith doesn't always come. she only comes once or twice. but never always. mine is an avatar herself. uses the name Lilith as a sirname.

Tilus to XXXXX
Apr 27, 2011
   
What do you mean by avatar? 

XXXXX to me
Apr 27, 2011
   
all daughters of Lilith are avatars.  however a few become a specialized avatars of Lilith. they carry Lilith's name as a sirname.

Tilus to XXXXX
May 8, 2011
   
Now you have me a bit baffled.  So it works like this,

There is a main/real/true Lilith.  There are spirits created from her who are her daughters.  There are a special few of her daughters that are basically reincarnated as her?  So does all interaction with her daughters reflect a larger relationship with Lilith herself?  (as the main one)

Have you experimented with Kundalini in interactions with your succubus?  I find that my internal energy flow is being trained by the succubi I have been with.  Also, I am curious to know if they seem to get anything out of their interactions with people that maybe we aren't aware of.  If you think about it, being around humans for thousands of years might become a bit of a bore in terms of interactions.

Let me know,
Tilus

XXXXX to me
May 9, 2011
   
you got it. but here's the hard part to understand. each succubus is an individal. who has their own feelings. and passions. although they serve as Lilith's avatars her representatives. they are their own persons. and yes mine has experiement with kundalini. but she does most of the work.

Tilus to XXXXX
May 20, 2011
   
Hi again XXXXX,

I noticed your hub is gone.  Did you take it down personally or did the admins make you take it down because it was considered obscene?

Also, I am curious to know if Kundalini can be used for healing.  I'm going to assume it get's stronger the longer you go without ejaculation?  And did Lilith ever say what her goal/purpose was?

Thanks!
Tilus

XXXXX  to me
May 20, 2011
   
hi tilus,
yes there was a lot of pressure from both the hubpages and a few crackpots that kept leaving posts on my pages. in the end I decided to take them down. I'm in the process of making a blog on the subject of the paranormal on blogspot.com under the name of XXXXX. I'll let you know when it is up.  my succubus has used kundalini for healing.  queen Lilith never told me her goals. but I sense it is not the corruption of mortals.  the impression I got from her was restoration to her original position as wife of adam; sister of eve; to  be venerated as a 'goddess' I.e. daughter of god/goddess and our co ancestor. and to  join  the other children of adam together   with us  in peace and love.

Tilus to XXXXX
May 23, 2011
   
I'm sorry to hear that XXXXX.  :(    I would love to subscribe to your blog when you have it setup.  If I'm not mistaken didn't you copy all  your posts from hubpages?  Why can't you just c/p them onto blogspot?  Also I am very interested in your pictures.  You have a few different forms of Lilith drawn.  I noticed the eye colors were different as well as the clothes and theme.  What was your inspiration for drawing the different tones and themes for them?  The one that had the most interest to me was when Lilith had a curved sword and armor.  Reminded me of a badass description from Liber Lilith where she is known as "Lilith the Destroyer".

Also you said the Zohar Volume 5 has a few references to Lilith and her daughters, yet I am having a tough time finding an online source that will let me read it for free.  Did you buy it or did you have a nearby library that provided it?  Are the references large, and if not would you be able to quote a few?  If you can't or don't feel like it, I won't be offended.

Also with your permission I would like to publish our email exchanges to my blog.  Of course I would censor all personal information, such as names, etc.  I feel like I have scattered a lot of my resources into many different people and forums and I want to gather them all into one place, which I think would be an ideal area for a blog.

Let me know,
Tilus

XXXXX to me
May 23, 2011
   
hi tilus,
I got the zohar volume 5 the pritzker edition off of amazon around $35.00. I have clip  the copies unto my blog. the address is XXXXX,  or if that doesn't work. try  XXXXX.  the lilith art was inspired by my succubus as well as lilith herself.  yes lilith does visit her daughters' lovers and husbands. because in truth we become lilith's lovers through her daughters. because being in the image of adam. she gets to connect to adam. about the lilith figure with the curve swords. that was my succubus' inspiration.. yes you have my permission to post our email exchanges. but be careful. there are those who might find if offense. and not necessarily the graphic sex stuff.
XXXXX